Monday, October 21, 2013

Banging Your Fist on the Threshold of God

Luke 18:1-8

Several years ago, I read this extremely popular book at the time, one that was highly controversial, although in my opinion a pretty unorthodox but beautiful account of describing what is indescribable, the Holy Trinity.  The book was titled The Shack.  The premise of the book on the surface was a man and his family goes camping.  His daughter is abducted and later evidence emerges that she was murdered by a serial killer in a small shack not far from the campgrounds.  The father, Mack, says that at this point his life enters what he calls, “The Great Sadness.” 

Four years later, he receives a letter from God which commands him to go back to the Shack to meet.  Sounds weird right?  And off Mack goes with some prodding and family encouragement and when he is about to leave the Shack, the whole world is transformed and he has this mystical encounter with the Holy Trinity.   Most of the book is a dialogue between Mack, and God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. 

What I found most powerful about the book, was the conversation of prayer and forgiveness that is established by Mack.  The first is an important concept – the need for Mack to forgive God for not disclosing all the answers to life’s most challenging and painful question.  Mack has to get to a place where he can let go of needing to know, to let go of having all of the answers, or even a suitable answer for the pain, the grief, and the sickening destruction of his own self by what he has experienced. 

The next is the work that Mack does to forgive his daughter’s killer.  Each day, it is a prayer.  Each day, Mack asks for help in forgiving the person who has caused more pain than I can possibly imagine a family or individual can endure.  But he prays.   He needs endurance.  He needs to not lose hope for his own grief and his own process of healing.   He knows that the task of forgiveness is the most challenging task he can possible take on, but he also understands the slow process and need to make that attempt, day after day, week after week. 

I thought of the character Mack when I read today’s Gospel.  He reminds me of the widow from the parable told by Jesus.  The widow and the judge are both familiar characters in our lives.  The judge is a politician who is always looking out for his own good and not the welfare of anyone else.  The whole town knows the character of the judge, even the widow in her time of need.  Maybe we are all too familiar with this judge during these times! 

And we can hear the plea of the widow.  She knows that the judge has not an ounce of feeling for anyone but himself, but she knocks anyway.  And she keeps knocking.  Please, please, please help.  By now, its 2am and the neighbors are furious.  They continue to slam their windows shut.  “Help me, help me, help me.”  And finally the door opens, “Fine, I will help you if you just leave me alone.  Now get out of my sight and don’t come back.”

The judge responds, but only to make his life simpler.  He wants sleep and it is easiest if he helps the widow. And the widow who has been seeking justice is appeased.  And we are told this is what prayer is like. Our lives are to be a constant stream of being, of asking for help, of asking for guidance, of giving thanks, even when it seems useless. And this is where we hear the character of Mack each day,   “God, help me.  Help me to forgive the person who has done the unforgivable act. I am not there yet.  Help me.”  Each day, going back, demanding help.  Each day, he assumes, will be like the previous, with forgiveness not fully there yet. 

When I was growing up, my parents constantly reminded, “Be nice to your sister.”  I remember being punished a few times where my father would make me write out on notebook paper, “I will be nice to my sister and my mother, and I will respect women at all times.”  He would have me write some sentiment like that over and over, 100 - 500 times depending on the severity of what I had done. 

Looking back (and after studying moral theology) I am much more aware that my father was not concerned with my immediate actions. If I continued to be disrespectful or mean to my mother, if the behavior was not curbed, then over time, it would be even more difficult to change my actions.  I would slowly grow into being a more disrespectful person.  However, if I would write something down 100-500 times, the sentiment would affect me by encouraging me to be that which the written statement called me to be. 

This underlying principle affects all vices in virtues in moral theology.  Think about lying.  If for say, you decided one year to bend the truth on your taxes.  I imagine it would be a little bit easier to make the same justification the next year, and even easier the third year, and many years down the road, you might find yourself saying, “Hey, everyone does this, it is not a big deal.”  A small action, when repeated begins to shape who we are. 

Or imagine learning how hard it is to apologize and admit that we are wrong to our loved ones.  I bet it is really hard the first time we have to do that, but overtime, it becomes easier, and we become more attuned to the people we are in relationship, and find it easier to admit to our own faults and limitations. 
Small actions, repeated over and over and over can affect who we are becoming, both positively and negatively.  Just as it is not likely that a person just randomly goes off and robs a bank.  It is much more likely they have been committing crime after crime, escalating, until they reach the point of robbing a bank. Or imagine a philanthropist.  It is not probably not likely that a very wealthy person all of a sudden for the first time gives away a lot of money.  There have likely been acts of charity over time that have helped that person become more charitable. 

To some extent, I believe that this understanding of moral theology and how vices and virtues shape who we are as people can help us to understand the intent of the parable that Jesus offers.   Why is it important to pray always?  Why should we be concerned with not losing heart?  What if we are not feeling the inspiration that we desire every Sunday?  Why continue?  Why not just stop going to church?  What if we are not inspired by the sermon, or what if we are not inspired by the music?  Why do we keep praying?  What draws us back?  Shouldn't we just take a break?  Or stop, maybe pick up a new hobby?  Whittling sticks?  Or taking nature hikes?  Playing the tuba? 

To use the famous words of a liturgical theologian – Praying shapes believing.  Just in the same way that writing 500 times, “I will not make fun of my sister’s braces” can help me to be more compassionate to my little sister, what we say and do each week slowly works on each of us as individual humans, opening a relationship to God through prayer.  It is why we need to say the confession over an over.  It is why we need to say peace be with you over and over.  It doesn't mean that from time to time, more often than not, we don’t feel like the widow banging her hands on the door of the unjust and selfish judge.  We do, but we are called to continue to pray, to be open, to be available, to be in relationship. We are called to gather here week after week, to say, “Peace be with you to our friends and family, including those who royally ticked us off, because eventually we will believe that.”  We are called each week to ask for forgiveness and slowly over time we will truly believe that we have been forgiven, and week after week we pray for God to restore the entire universe, trusting that one day that work will be complete, the kingdom come, salvation present.  

Praying shapes believing.  And prayer shapes us, it molds us, and calls us forward.  So do not lose heart, Pray always, banging your fists on the door of the threshold of God.  Because, will God not grant justice to those who cry to him day and night?  Amen.  

Sermon Preached at Church of the Annunciation
October 20th, 2013

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