Monday, October 7, 2013

Lord, Increase Our Capacity for Forgivness

Has your faith or lack thereof every made you feel guilty?  Does shame play a role in how we participate, how we engage, how we interact in church?   When I was in high school, there was a mainstream Christian band called Jars of Clay with a hit song called “Like a Child.” The chorus had that famous line, “They say that I can move the mountains, send them crashing into the sea.” All, with faith like a child.  Move mountains.  It is a powerful image that calls us to a deeper faith, but does an unexplored or glossed over reading of our Biblical text, really do that? 

If we stop and think, the lessons we have learned over life, the messages we have heard in church, create a challenging dialogue for each of us.  Our life is a myriad of experiences, events, and overall series of emotional periods.  This is why we might say, ‘I am going through a really tough time right now,’ or ‘that period in my life was really dark.’  Or, ‘this year has been a really good year and I just feel so blessed!’ 

When life is not entirely as easy as we think it could be, we can so often have the tendency to feel like our faith is supposed to dictate where we are supposed to be.  If I just had more faith, maybe I wouldn’t be so sad.  If I just had more faith, maybe grief wouldn’t be so overwhelming.  If I just had more faith, I could be more content knowing where I am today.  When we examine faith from this perspective, doubt and shame both begin to permeate our central belief system.  The lesson of having the faith of a mustard seed almost always undergirds our reasoning.  And for good reason, as we hear the plea of the apostles, to have their faith increased. 

However, we cannot just turn to the story of the mustard seed to understand what Jesus means when he says, “If you had faith the size of a mustard seed.”  We have heard this Sunday, the follow up about the worthless slave or servant, an emotionally charged statement that comes from Jesus.  And just before this passage, the disciples are struggling with causing each other to stumble. The disciples are rebuking the offenders and then Jesus says you must forgive those who repent, even if that person sins against you seven times a day.  Forgive.  Forgive. Forgive.  And the apostles respond, Increase our Faith!

I want to change directions for just a bit and share with you the beginning of George Saunder’s commencement speech from Syracuse University this year which just appeared in an editorial in the New York Times.

Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?”  And they’ll tell you.  Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked.  Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.
So: What do I regret?  Being poor from time to time?  Not really.  Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?”  (And don’t even ASK what that entails.)  No.  I don’t regret that.  Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked?  And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months?  Not so much.  Do I regret the occasional humiliation?  Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl?  No.  I don’t even regret that.
But here’s something I do regret:
In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class.  In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.”  ELLEN was small, shy.  She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore.  When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.
So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” – that sort of thing).  I could see this hurt her.  I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear.  After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth.  At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.”  And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”
Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.
And then – they moved.  That was it.  No tragedy, no big final hazing.
One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.
End of story.
Now, why do I regret that?  Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it?  Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her.  I never said an unkind word to her.  In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.
Saunders continues to go into his advice for the graduates, how we understand ourselves as humans intellectually and the need for kindness and how kindness is essentially what we need to be working for in life, and he says, that “as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love.  You will gradually be replaced by love.”  

I was struck by his story for a number of reasons.  First, what a wonderful message for college students who are so worried about jobs and careers – kindness.   But there is another part of me that sees the human person in all of life, oscillating between Ellen and George.    Our human experience, our stories in life invite us to see ourselves as both Ellen and George.  We have been the one who has stood their silently ashamed of not offering a response, and we have stood their listening to others, angered and harboring resentment.
There is so much guilt and hurt that makes up each of our collective stories.  Maybe we weren't the young child who chewed on her hair and stared awkwardly at our neighbors, but regardless we carry the burden of things done and things undone with each of us.  We hold resentment at others who have hurt us.  Days, weeks, years later, we stand both as Ellen and as George, wishing we had acted differently or others had been more generous.    If you have been around people long enough, you have probably both been offended and offended others.   This is a part of being human. 

And even in Christian community, human interactions have a way of unsettling our being, causing turmoil.  Even in churches, Christian communities, feelings are hurt.  Just look at the apostles in our lesson today.  They have a deep desire for their faith to be increased.  Their faith is linked to forgiveness.  They needed help with forgiveness, even if their fellow apostles are offending them seven times a day.  They need help forgiving their fellow disciples in Christ, the people they are intimately connected with in relationship.  And in forgiveness there is always a duality.  There exists the need to forgive others and the need to forgive ourselves.   Faith is the driving factor for the way we care for each other.

As I look at the train wreck of our national government, the excessive bickering between parties and the parties’ leaders, the failure to lead and instead to shut down and blame the other, I have to wonder if Luke would have something to say to each member of our Congress.  Faithfulness as seen in light of the ability to forgive one another would have the power to move mountains.  It would have the power to pick up this mulberry tree and plant it in the sea.  Forgiveness (which requires the ultimate faith) has that kind of transformative power to change the course of Washington. 

Maybe Jesus’ response that we only need the faith of mustard seed, is invitation to realize how close and how tangible forgiveness can be.  Something as small as a letting go or a refusal to harbor feelings of animosity, or lay blame on the other can be utterly transformative, utterly life changing.  In a small action lies unimaginable results.  In a small action, forgiveness has the power to do what seems impossible, inconceivable  and to defy not only the law of physics, but human understanding in the way that we behave and function. 

And maybe we need to have that kind of faith.  Our world is so polarized and we long for an appropriate response.  Just like the apostles, we demand for God to increase our faith.  Could the answer as small as a mustard seed?  Could the answer be letting ourselves off the hook for all the things undone?  Could the answer be in our response to ourselves and our response to our fellow friends and family, our neighbors, and those whom we stand in opposition with? Could the answer be rooted in our ability to drop the need to be right, the need to be appeased, or the need to see a limited view of justice?  Could the answer be in the size of a mustard seed?

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